Four years ago when I finished medical school, I wrote an article for Student Doctor Network called Six Things to Remember While Parenting in Medical School.
A lot of what I wrote back then still holds true for residency, but I thought I would give an updated run-down on some important things to remember while parenting in residency...
1. It really is about quality of time over quantity. I used to think that people were saying this to me so that I wouldn’t feel badly about not being around all the time, but it really is true. Your kids want to be with you no matter whether it is during a 15 minute visit on Labor and Delivery, or a whole golden weekend. They love you and anything you do together can be memorable. The biggest thing is to make the most of the time that you do have with them.
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| Visitors on Nights during Intern Year |
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| Visitors during Nights during Chief Year |
2. Don’t forget to do something for yourself. Between working, and trying to be everything to everyone at home, it is easy to forget about yourself. You need those hobbies you had before this thing started - whether it is long bubble baths, writing, working out, or your favorite TV show. You have to TREAT YO SELF too.
That Disney trip we took? Definitely mostly for me ;-)
3. Residency is not going to be easy with children, no matter what specialty you choose, but it can be done. Social media sometimes can hurt us, because we are looking at everyone’s highlight reel and end products without seeing all of the outtakes or mess in between points A and B. Let
4. Take the pictures (even if the school year is halfway over). Take the seemingly inconvenient overnight trip (even after being on the third hellish rotation in a row). Go to the movie. The time is going to pass you by and these moments are going to be things that you cherish with your fam when the going gets tough.
5. Make even the simple things a family affair. Isabelle always points out that she is willing to “rest” or “watch the news” with me. Train 'em up!
6. Get creative about making what is important to you happen. You will be able to make it to :some: of the kids'/family things. It just takes a lot of advanced planning, and the support of your people who are willing to cover you if need be.
7. Ask for help. I have NO SHAME in sending out the yearly "recruitment email" to our extended family letting them know when we need them most during the year.
8. Don’t forget to say thank you. And say it often - not just when you are all done. You didn't get here alone and don't forget it.
