Christmas Vacation Update (& Our Special Gift)

So far my vacation has been lovely.

We had our first ever Christmas Eve/Christmas Morning in our own home and I am so happy that we did. Although it is great to go out of town ahead of time so that we can be with everyone, it was nice to work on starting our own family's traditions - baking cookies, reading the Christmas story before bed, staying up and wrapping gifts in our own home. It was great!

Nate asked for things all year (and we delivered) so I was expecting an over-the-top reaction to all the awesome things this kid got for Christmas. Instead we got the most lackluster gift unwrapping ever. I will credit it to my son's analytical and pragmatic personality traits thanks to his engineer-father, but goodness... He carefully made sure all the paper was off each gift, interjected an inside voice "wow" or "sweet", and the would pause for a few seconds as if he was reading the specs on each box. What was the most hilarious is that he asked for 50 million different Batman toys, and he got quite a few, as he opened the third Batman-themed toy, this man goes, "Man...Batman has a lot of stuff though....Batman has a lot of stuff..." Really little Nate?

My little Candycane

We spent the previous weekend at my parents' house and Natey had his first Christmas there. Then, after spending the morning at home, we hit the road and headed to Michigan for a couple days to see the rest of the hubby and I's family. We are going to spend the last days of my vacation (the hubby and the kid get more days than me - not fair) at home. I am probably the happiest about this because all that traveling was exhausting.

In addition to this being my favorite holidays, this was also a special time because we had a big announcement for everyone:

Our BIG News!!

We are so excited!! And I think Natey is going to be an awesome big brother.

I go back to rotation life on the 2nd, so I plan to spend the rest of my days off lounging around... It is going to be splendid.

This pregnancy has already been completely different from my first - "didn't even know I was pregnant for 5 weeks" experience with Natey. Baby J has made his/her presence known with a baseline feeling of all-day nausea. And I'm pretty sure this baby doesn't want me to have a blog because every time I get ready to write, either a big wave of nausea or sleepiness takes over :yawn: No worries, because vacations are perfect for napping... all. day. long.

Hope you all are having a great holiday season!
xoxo

Baby J @ 10 weeks
 Hope this kid likes the camera because this is the first of many pictures...

After my appointment today, I told Natey to hold the picture of his brother or sister so I could snap a pic and he goes, "I don't want to, she can take a picture by herself!" I thought this was hilarious....But really he is just as excited as we are ;-)

Siblings!!!

From Our Family to Yours...

Wishing you and your family a blessed holiday season and a prosperous New Year!

Prayers for Newtown and Any Parent Who Has Lost a Child.

I have had no words since finding out what happened on Friday. Like most parents, I just keep thinking about my own beautiful baby and the unspeakable grief of the Newtown families. As a parent you do the best you can to give your kids the best life and opportunities you know how. It is so disheartening to think that even when you do everything in your power, someone can come and suddenly take all that away from you. It's not fair and it is so difficult for me to wrap my mind around this. My heart is so broken for every family touched by this tragedy.

Tonight I read this well written piece by the mother of a child with mental illness, and it immediately made me think about the children I interacted with during my inpatient psychiatry rotation. On one hand they were just kids, but without a moment's notice they could become both violent and extremely dangerous. I have no intention of making this a post about mental illness, but I know first hand that it is real. And it is terrifying because these children who are sick really have no options until they end up doing something worthy of going to jail - which houses the greatest portion of those mentally ill in this country.

No parent should have to bury their child. Be it from gang violence, sickness, or a horrendous, unimaginable massacre like what occurred on Friday. No parent should have to deal with this. Ever.

As the days following this tragic event continue to pass, I hope and pray that we start having some serious conversations about our country and all of the things that are so broken. Enough is enough. Something has got to change.

"When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous have a refuge." Proverbs 14:32

To all those gone from this earth far too soon, rest in heavenly peace.

:::Taps Mic::: Is Anyone Still Here?

 My poor poor blog...

It's gotten harder and harder to sit down and write since starting Internal Medicine. I am at the hospital from 6:30AM-4PM 6 days a week with call until anywhere between 6 and 9PM on every fourth day. As soon as I get out the hospital, all I have time for is picking Natey up, dinner, making lunches for the next day, a shower, and then bed so I'm not tired the next day. I'm on Medicine for another month after this one and then I start my surgery block.

Today is my one day off this week, and I am up at 6:30AM with nowhere to go, so I guess it is time to blog :-) Instead of this being a post of me complaining venting about what is going on, I decided to take just give a quick summary of life right now... Just a warning, it probably will still come off as complaining lol...

I. AM. EXHAUSTED. Like I said, I am on Medicine right now. I am at the VA and our patient population is primarily older (60+ years old) men. Everyone is so nice at the VA, but I am realizing that I really miss inpatient medicine in pediatrics and I miss having women as patients... I guess the good thing is my next Medicine month is at the county hospital so I will probably have more variety patient-wise (no kids but probably a wider age spectrum and more women too). I am also really looking forward to my OB rotation in April. I have a good feeling about it :-)

At home I am struggling. This is the dark side about being a mom in medical school. I am feeling like school has taken over everything and I don't get to spend a fraction of the time I would want at home with my kid. I leave when he is sleeping in the morning and I get home two hours before he is in bed (if I am not on call). I am feeling really inadequate in the mommy AND wife department which is leaving me with a funky attitude when I step into the hospital to take care of other people when I need to be taking care of home... :sigh:

I feel really disconnected spiritually too. I haven't been to church in months and I am feeling super guilty about it. I know church isn't the only way to get close to God, but I am having a really hard time reading my Bible and devotionals consistently even when they are emailed to me...

I constantly feel like I am 10 steps behind where I need to be. I make lists for days to keep my time at home/the grocery store/etc focused. On a high note, I managed to get same day last minute appointments for my hair and brows this week and we are taking some Christmas card pictures today - although they may be Holiday Season cards depending on how soon I can get them in the mail. You don't appreciate normal business hours until you aren't able to get anything done during them...but "this, too shall pass." Right?

In other news, I am really excited about Christmas! I get 10 days off starting on the 21st (AFTER call -___-)  and I cannot wait to catch up around the house and visit with family and friends!

Hope you all are well! If you have any tips for relieving stress (preferably things that can be done in the car) or prayers for stress please send them my way!