I'm a subscriber to "The Nest", a follow-up website to "The Knot" that does for newlyweds what "The Knot" does for brides and grooms (mostly, brides). Apparently there is this thing called a "Baby Bucket List" that couples make consisting of all the things they want to accomplish before they have kids. Now, don't get me wrong, kids definitely change your life in more ways than you could imagine, and there is a clear dichotomy between my life and the life of my early-twenties counterparts and BFFs, but this list is a bit much for me. It made having kids sound like the end of ALL civil liberties - not to mention the screaming baby picture for added effect on the title page...
If you don't feel like checking the link, here is a recap:
15 Things to Do Before You Have Kids
15. Go on a wine-tasting tour at a vineyard.
14. Go skydiving/bungee jumping/swimming with sharks...or whatever other crazy, life-risking thing you’ve got on your bucket list.
13. Make a list of all the restaurants and bars you've been meaning to check out -- and go.
12. Appreciate the bathroom -- alone.
11. Stop being so self-righteous. (Translation: don't judge those with screaming children in public)
10. Take a road trip.
9. Be spontaneous.
8. Spend an entire day in bed together watching movies.
7. Have boozy lunches with friends.
6. Feed your minimalist side. (Translation: have white furniture, rugs, walls, etc.)
5. Have morning sex.
4. Be the last ones to leave the party.
3. Fly first class.
2. Wear as much silk, cashmere, dry-clean-only clothing as you possibly can, while you still can.
1. Take a career risk.
Now I am the epitome of an uber-planner, and quite frankly, I was terrified of the idea of being a mother and student simultaneously - convinced if it was done, it couldn't be done well (I now know that couldn't be further from the truth). I think that if we hadn't had our son when we did, I don't know when we would have MUTUALLY decided that we were at a good place in life to start our family. Just bringing in my half of things in, I originally was thinking no babies until after my first residency year - so that would have been MAYBE 2016 (at age 29), and that is a big maybe without knowing what specialty I will have chosen.
I am 100% in agreement with the idea that if you are married and are not ready to have a baby because you still have personal and professional goals you want to accomplish, then don't (shout out to Beyonce and Jay-Z). If you are waiting for marriage stability or financial/professional stability - all things that will make you better equipped for parenting, that's one thing; I just don't think couples have to check everything off of their "enjoyable moments kids get in the way of" bucket lists to make the call.
The Hubs and I have definitely had the "what if" discussions about our lives - I think most parents do. But I can honestly speak from my own personal experience: Wine tasting tours don't end. Private bathroom time doesn't end. Spontaneity doesn't end. Oh, and you can still wear nice clothes (LOL). Even in the midsts of the "terrible twos" I told the Hubby if this is what we are missing out on, we aren't missing much... Plus, we'll be empty nesters by our mid 40's...Can you say "early retirement beach house"? WINNING. Take that Baby Bucket List!
I'd love to hear what you guys think...
